It is possible that from the age of 12 your children experience certain changes with which you must learn to deal. If your little son you played with at all times has grown up and shows himself as an unknown being to you: disobedient, rude and irresponsible, it is probably because he is facing the transition from childhood to adolescence.
Adolescence is a stage of biological, psychological and social changes; so you must assume with great patience so that it does not affect the relationship of father to son.
When it starts?
Adolescence is a vital period between puberty and adulthood, starts from 12 or 13 years and its duration depends on each person (usually until 17 or 18 years). It is a stage where young people can do many things, but they do not have the capacity for full understanding, so they act in rebellion and think about running away from home or going out at all times with their friends. However, not everyone behaves the same way, there are some calmer and more familiar.
An investigation carried out by the Salk Institute in California in the United States, revealed that it is during this stage when the human brain determines how its genetic configuration will be for the rest of life, hence between these ups and downs and immaturity changes dominate.
According to the study, the activity of the genes in the brain presents modifications from birth to the end of adolescence. Manuel Esteller, co-author of the research, explains that: «All our neurons have practically the same DNA, but the genes that are activated in each one change with age.
Psychological Changes in Adolescence
The psyche and emotions of adolescents are now a mixture of doubts, contradictions and insecurities. They generally act with pride, they do not know what they want, they are bitter or stubborn, they react stubbornly, they speak little or a lot, they argue only to win, they seek to overthrow their parents believing to strengthen their autonomy and independence and they are irresponsible with their chores.
These attitudes are rejected by parents. The recommendation at that time is to listen with patience and respond with love. Even if you do not share your interests and tastes, it is important that you act firmly when it comes to instilling respect for the family and the responsibility that you should have with your tasks and personal safety.
At this stage, body changes are seen, hair appears, pimples occur, the first menstruation occurs and the size of the breasts increases in girls and boys begin to ejaculate and their voice hardens.
All these changes generate insecurity and confusion among young people because they make them look different and, in turn, arouse the desire to be well seen by others.
Sexual maturation also encourages attraction to the other sex. The problem is that many see this activity as an adventure for which it is worth taking risks and it is at this point that sex education must reach them effectively to prevent the spread of sexually transmitted diseases or an unwanted pregnancy.
Both parents and educators should offer adolescents clear and complete information where responsible, safe and pleasant sex prevails.
Similarly, as young people need to exploit their new body or physical appearance, it is advisable to practice some sport.
Adolescence: Long Term Education
The education of children must be projected in the future, fostering solid foundations where respect, affection, love, understanding and even complicity are sometimes deprived, so that they safeguard these values and reproduce them in adulthood.
If good relations are maintained since childhood, the safest thing is that everything will continue normally when reaching the age of adolescence; otherwise, the docile child will give way to a young man of difficult and distant character.
How to help them?
Pay attention to your emotions, feelings, body and social relationships.Keep an open communication in any circumstance. Listen with patience. Give them equal and freedom quotas. Be flexible or firm when appropriate. Put yourself in place to understand their attitudes. Promote activities with them in order to know them more. Respect them and demand the same. Build trust bonds.
During this time the teenager tends to break his relationship with parents, replacing his influence with that of his group of friends or classmates. That is why they can begin to be related to alcohol or drugs. Similarly, as your mind is more dispersed and your interest in studying is affected by other factors, your school performance changes negatively.